Work Work Work

Today, reader, I have two bits of frustration to share. The first is about my name. Now, don't get me wrong, I love my name. I didn't always, in fact, I hated it in elementary school, back when I thought it was cool to be the same as everyone else. As I got older though, I saw the awesomeness in it. And we all know there is no charge for awesomeness... Or attractiveness. Anyway, the frustrating part is that I wear a name tag at work and EVERYONE asks about my name. I had a man come through my line today and asked me how to pronounce it..... Umm.... It's phonetic.... And when I told him he said, oh that's what I thought... ok guy.... I also had a large group of Polynesian men come through (slightly overwhelming) and they called me a liar when I said it was my real name. Really? Come on! But! There is one good thing, today, I had a woman tell her husband she wanted to name their unborn child Pebbles. Oh yes, I have inspired even just one person to go against the norm and give their child something great. I loved it.

Ok, second piece of frustration. This one is directed more at myself than anything. You know when people talk about writing a letter and throwing it away to get your anger out? Well I really want to start this practice, as I feel it would help me since I can get out all my frustrations and think about everything I want to say. Here's the catch though, I think I might be too tempted to actually send them.... And that would not be good.

Dear so and so,
I'm sorry you broke my heart. I'm sorry that I didn't see it coming and that I thought I could trust you. I'm sorry that I thought you were different and you wouldn't play me like a fiddle. I'm sorry that you made me want to be better and in turn your rejection made me feel as if I wasn't good enough. I'm sorry that I kept hope even though I knew better. I'm sorry that you know how to treat girls well and that even if you don't like them you still treat them amazing which causes that danged hope.

Dear so and so,
I'm sorry I broke your heart. I'm sorry that I am a flirt by nature. I'm sorry that sometimes I like the attention and don't discourage you as much as I should. I'm sorry that you didn't understand when I said we'd be just friends.

Dear so and so,
I'm sorry I felt betrayed by you. I'm sorry that I didn't want to try and salvage what had been dying for awhile. I'm sorry that maybe I was immature. I'm sorry that I was selfish. I'm sorry I can't be a better friend. I'm sorry that I don't want to be a doormat anymore.

Dear so and so,
I'm sorry that I feel like I can't do anything right sometimes. I'm sorry that I hurt you by not being what you wanted.

Dear so and so,
I'm sorry that I put so much stock in your opinion of me. I'm sorry that I'm rude when you say hurtful things. I'm sorry that that's how I cope with it and not show how much it pains me to hear those things.

Dear so and so,
I'm sorry that I was intimidated by you and didn't know how to act around you. I'm sorry that I made a fool of myself and you won't ever talk to me again because I'm a doofus.

Dear so and so,
I'm sorry I haven't written you a letter. I'm sorry that I haven't been a supportive friend. I'm also sorry that I know your secret. The secret that hurts me so so much and I can't imagine what it must be doing to you. Or if it is doing anything to you.

Dear so and so,
I'm sorry you can't spell. I'm also sorry that it drives me up the wall and that your bad grammar makes me want to scream. I'm sorry that you grew up in a time where 'cuz' and 'like' and all things text abbreviated are words.

Obviously those are not at all specific, but I figured this was the closest I could come to having it both ways. I don't know that the people these are intended for even know about this blog, I also don't know that they would know it was directed at them, but I do know I feel a little better and I didn't hurt any feelings by sending a specific letter and no one knows who or what these are intended for.

And that is all sorry about the downer post, but it had to be done and so I bid you goodnight, fair reader.